Not long after our marriage, Ali and I went to visit my Mom.
Ali has a list of complaints...
POOF!
In a cloud of smoke, a Genie appears in front of me, and intones,
"I am the Genie of Fantasy. I can not make you rich or famous, but I CAN put you into any fantasy world you wish. You can stay in the fantasy world as long as you want... you can say the words, "Teenie Genie, take me home" or if you fall asleep, you'll return to this real world, and only one minute in real time will have passed."
I eagerly tell him what I want.
POOF!
My wife of a couple months, Ali, and I were visiting my mother. We arrived late, went to bed, and
so the next morning...
I was in the den watching t.v. and they were talking.
"So how's the newlywed life?" Mom asked her.
"Uhhh... well..."
"Not great?"
"Some parts ...heh ..are, but you can only THAT so much. Everyday living is problematic."
"I'm guessing he-has-always-been-a-bachelor-and-never-lived-with-a-woman kind of problems?"
"Good guess. He lives the toilet seat up, no matter how many times I say something. He leaves dirty clothes on the floor anywhere and everywhere. He leaves dirty dishes on the coffee table. I have to ask three or four times for any kind of help. Once a week, he needs to get the garbage cans out to the curb for pickup, I think I've done it four times myself already because he forgets..."
Mom snorted. "Like father like son. His father was the same way ... at first, after we married."
"Um at first? He ... grew out of it, so to speak?"
"No no ... I had to take ... real action."
"Such as ...?"
"Disciplinary."
"Uh ...hmm?"
"After the last straw, whatever it was, I said, 'If you're going to ask like a spoiled brat, I'm going to treat you like one, I am giving you a hard spanking...' and after a little resistance, until he realized, I mean real business, well, he gave in, and I spanked him then, and many many times thereafter, until things got to the point ... that he learned, and I didn't need to spank him anymore."
"ANd um when was that?"
Mom chuckled. "Oh, a couple weeks before he passed away."
"Oh. Well ... so you think ... me spanking him will ...help?"
"IT certainly can't hurt ... anybody but him, that is. If nothing else, it would be an outlet for your anger and frustration."
"Yeah, it would be. So, um, like, with my hand?"
Mom chuckled. "If you were dealing with a small child, sure. But you're not. With a grown up man, you need something um harsher. Hang on a sec."
She got up, left the room, and returned with a wooden hairbrush. "Something like this, for starters."
"Oh ... But how do I start?"
"Um, I'll show you."
She sat in an open chair, and yelled out, "JAY get in here."
I came to the living room.
She said, "Get your shoes and pants off and get over my lap."
"Wh...why?"
"You have NOT been a very good husband to your wife, and I'm going to show her how to deal with a spoiled brat, NOW DO IT."
More than a little surprised... I did so,
and once over her lap she took down my briefs and
"Now GET UP and go stand in that corner."
I got up and went.
"So, I like to make the man stand in the corner for as long as I want, to reaffirm who is in charge. Also, it's very effective to have him strip completely naked before a spanking. But sometimes, it's equally good to have him strip to his underwear, then YOU take them down for him."
"I see," said Ali.
to be continued in When Wife and Mom get together...2
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